Warley photos provided by Manager Isobel
9am Wednesday So it Must be the
Start of the Ladies and Seniors Virtual Fantasy Cup at Warley Park
This page will be regularly updated with photos and comments today, so check back
Welcome to the Ladies and Seniors Virtual Fantasy Golf
For those of you who haven’t read my Fantasy Golf columns over the last five years now is your chance. I won’t being making jokes about the virus as it is rather too serious for that but I will make observations about all our friends at Warley Park and I will stick to my customer service promise that 30% of everything I write will be true as that brings me roughly in line with the popular press.
Report 1 – On the Tee
It’s 9am and the members of Warley Park Ladies and Warley Park Seniors are gathering around the tee for the Virtual Fantasy Golf. Initially there were concerns about whether we could play this competition and still stick to the social distancing rules but with great innovation our club Pro Kevin has sourced golf shirts with strong magnets in them. It means the front of every shirt automatically repels the back of any shirt so if you get too near it will repel you back to 2 metres. The only drawback we have found so far is that we must all face in the same direction at all times. Please observe this simple rule and we will obey government guidelines. If you do turn around you may find yourself in the arms of your playing partner or worse your opposition pair. The magnets are strong so please take with you one of our sponsored crow bars to separate people and stay 2 metres apart at all times to …. You know the rest.
You are all about to make history as this is the world’s first ever Shot Gun start where everyone starts on the 1st tee. You may recall Mike Trett holds the record for golf’s first Le Mans start where we drew for teams and whoever got to the 1st first started the competition but he only had 32 players and we have 144. Please all take your place in history and tell your grandchildren.
There is one further safety instruction which is when Captain Steve takes the first drive, we all need to observe a 10 metre distancing rule from him during and for 10 seconds after the drive. If his ball flies to the fairway all will be well but if he is in the ditch you will need at least 10 metres to be safe and for those with a sensitive disposition we suggest you cover your ears.
Now we have ready on the tee our two captains, Liz and Steve, who will play together against Colin and Barbara. We had a panic earlier when Liz hadn’t arrived but luckily husband Geoff has now joined the seniors and sorted things out. They were travelling in the car together – Liz driving – when Geoff questioned whether this was the way to Warley Park as he just had just a sign Chelmsford. Oh, said Liz I think I have put Hintlesham Hall in the satnav.
So, we are ready to start, send photos and comments to Gordon at
allen393@icloud.com and view them at www.warleyseniors.co.uk
if you can but if not just enjoy the sun. Reports will appear after each 3 holes at 60 to 90-minute intervals so around 10.30am, 12 noon, and around 1pm and then 2pm, 3.30pm and 5pm in the afternoon. Please prepare acceptance speeches just in case it’s your day. Never has a field been more evenly balanced.
Simon - Fantasy News
For those of you who haven’t read my Fantasy Golf columns over the last five years now is your chance. I won’t being making jokes about the virus as it is rather too serious for that but I will make observations about all our friends at Warley Park and I will stick to my customer service promise that 30% of everything I write will be true as that brings me roughly in line with the popular press.
Report 1 – On the Tee
It’s 9am and the members of Warley Park Ladies and Warley Park Seniors are gathering around the tee for the Virtual Fantasy Golf. Initially there were concerns about whether we could play this competition and still stick to the social distancing rules but with great innovation our club Pro Kevin has sourced golf shirts with strong magnets in them. It means the front of every shirt automatically repels the back of any shirt so if you get too near it will repel you back to 2 metres. The only drawback we have found so far is that we must all face in the same direction at all times. Please observe this simple rule and we will obey government guidelines. If you do turn around you may find yourself in the arms of your playing partner or worse your opposition pair. The magnets are strong so please take with you one of our sponsored crow bars to separate people and stay 2 metres apart at all times to …. You know the rest.
You are all about to make history as this is the world’s first ever Shot Gun start where everyone starts on the 1st tee. You may recall Mike Trett holds the record for golf’s first Le Mans start where we drew for teams and whoever got to the 1st first started the competition but he only had 32 players and we have 144. Please all take your place in history and tell your grandchildren.
There is one further safety instruction which is when Captain Steve takes the first drive, we all need to observe a 10 metre distancing rule from him during and for 10 seconds after the drive. If his ball flies to the fairway all will be well but if he is in the ditch you will need at least 10 metres to be safe and for those with a sensitive disposition we suggest you cover your ears.
Now we have ready on the tee our two captains, Liz and Steve, who will play together against Colin and Barbara. We had a panic earlier when Liz hadn’t arrived but luckily husband Geoff has now joined the seniors and sorted things out. They were travelling in the car together – Liz driving – when Geoff questioned whether this was the way to Warley Park as he just had just a sign Chelmsford. Oh, said Liz I think I have put Hintlesham Hall in the satnav.
So, we are ready to start, send photos and comments to Gordon at
allen393@icloud.com and view them at www.warleyseniors.co.uk
if you can but if not just enjoy the sun. Reports will appear after each 3 holes at 60 to 90-minute intervals so around 10.30am, 12 noon, and around 1pm and then 2pm, 3.30pm and 5pm in the afternoon. Please prepare acceptance speeches just in case it’s your day. Never has a field been more evenly balanced.
Simon - Fantasy News
The course is looking perfect for the day's events.
Dominic and his team are out there ball watching for you. Not sure what the scoring system does with lost balls as the lake looks inviting!
Dominic and his team are out there ball watching for you. Not sure what the scoring system does with lost balls as the lake looks inviting!
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Some early photos are in from those keen to get going
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Our local accomplished Chef, aka, Lord Benton (Steve), is all ready to go with Lady Benton (Ruth). Although given the 'reducing size in distance principle' Steve appears to be on his private golf course and Ruth appears to be standing further away in the lower part of the Estate! The red, white and blue is all there. Well done.
With a name like Allan Appleby you'd expect to always be first out! Used to seeing him in a cap. Didn't realise he still had so much hair! Good colours Allan. Go with your neatly cut lawn very well!
The First Three Holes are now in Play
Round up of scores etc for the first 3 holes c10.30am
Round up of scores etc for the first 3 holes c10.30am
Hello Lady Captain Liz seems to have tee'd off a bit early before the light was up..
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Meanwhile Senior's Captain Steve's alarm clearly didn't go off and he is making a late start with his partner Liz! Good night Steve?
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Ladies Secretary Barbara hopes her partner has got all the right gear and got it on correctly just like her!
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Senior's Vice Captain Colin says he, 'was surprised that he remembered which end of the club to hold!' Certainly forgotton how to put his hat on correctly!
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Jean and John (E) are off, John intends to a make it a wet day even though its very sunny!
Live (ish) Comments
7.30 A message from Pippa "Good luck to all the ladies playing 18 holes today !!!! Don't forget to warm up first , we don't want any injuries out there 🏌️♀️🏌️♂️.......... 😂😂xx"
7.31 A message from Seniors Captain Steve (A), "It is only 7.30 and apparently I am already late.
Anyway looking forward to the day and Liz and I wish everyone the best of luck, in what promises to be an exciting day in glorious weather. I am delighted the Captain's team has all the Stragglers in it ( Bob , Brian and Tony) as well as Angie Long (Tommie's widow ). Incidentally Brian wants to know what happened to ready golf. For some people, this will be their first round of golf for some time, RT , Bill French, George Fox and for others, the first time they have played 18 holes for a long time. Luckily our new sat nav buggies are available.
7.48 A message from Upminster Roger (T): “ So excited that got up at 6:30 for a Wendy, who must be hoping that her partner doesn’t tire and displays his Tallent to its best. ‘Er indoors has also been up for a Shooter, now resting in bed in anticipation .......................for her morning cuppa !! “
8.13 Tina (W) "Its the only day I might get an eagle or hole in one. Bring it on!"
8 Liz B make sure you take water with you.
9 Delray I'm ready, just waiting for the hooter to start
9 Ash -A bit late for the shotgun start as I have been warming up in bed and lost track of time. I must Apologise to my playing partner Isobel and warn her that I have tennis elbow and may make my shots stray a bit but I will go through the pain barrier in order to win the event. May have a few whiskies during the round to ease the elbow pain.
Liz Morning girls, Geoff and I arrived just in time. I told him weather is due to change!
Chris V- All up and running .let's hope their are plenty of " Hole in One's " , If so why not set up a Fantasy Honours Board on our website
Mike T - Can't get the hang of these early starts. Overslept again! Am I too late? Someone sign me in please!
Deray - YES Chris Vander (no idea who he is) .. but brilliant partner ... we’re in the lead
Peter (B) - Simon sorry I am.late on the tee but my partner said are you on your marks and I was waiting for her by the till.
Kim H- Dear Editor, Re Derby County, Once again I find the need to write. In these troubled times do you not think it more appropriate to be flying her majesty’s flag at half mast?
On second thoughts.............
Steve A - well played partner , 2 birdies in the first 3 holes
Some good advice from Mary Anne - “Just as a reminder to all players, as the sun is shinning magnificently today, the Ladies Section have organised Pimms and Strawberry Cream Teas at the 10th Tee. Please join in but remember to keep your magnets charged!
Disclaimer: Ladies Section will not be held accountable for any subsequent wayward shots! “
Colin (B) - Still haven't seen Tuck Shop Stan to claim my Mars bar and banana. Knew I should have brought my wine gums with me. The balls going a bit further than last time we played. Barbara's just hit a 300 yard drive!
That damned nuisance Hansen (K) is back again
Dear Editor,
Having arisen late this morning I’m afraid I missed the joint captains drive off, many apologies - yesterday’s practise round was obviously too much for us both following our period of joint isolation. I have however noted with disappointment the use of magnets to observe distancing rules on the tee. Is this yet another example of over zealous government intervention to keep us poles apart?
Please let Jeanie know that I have belatedly joined the queue for the tee - currently standing by the Timber Yard half way down the Avenue - and will be with her shortly.
Tina (W)- Welcome back Bill, you’re looking very trim. Good luck today and take it easy.
Robert (B) - One down after 3 thanks to good 5 by our opposition on the 2nd after I put our 2nd into the pond after a great drive up the middle by my partner Chris, but early days!
Hansen (K) again! But sounding a bit less stressed with life............., Many thanks Ed, disappointed to report that we may be out of the wards but looks like we are already back in the woods!!!
Betty (V) 'Delrays skirt is more than 7inches above the knee does this mean she is disqualified'. (Eds note. Needs closer examination.)
7.31 A message from Seniors Captain Steve (A), "It is only 7.30 and apparently I am already late.
Anyway looking forward to the day and Liz and I wish everyone the best of luck, in what promises to be an exciting day in glorious weather. I am delighted the Captain's team has all the Stragglers in it ( Bob , Brian and Tony) as well as Angie Long (Tommie's widow ). Incidentally Brian wants to know what happened to ready golf. For some people, this will be their first round of golf for some time, RT , Bill French, George Fox and for others, the first time they have played 18 holes for a long time. Luckily our new sat nav buggies are available.
7.48 A message from Upminster Roger (T): “ So excited that got up at 6:30 for a Wendy, who must be hoping that her partner doesn’t tire and displays his Tallent to its best. ‘Er indoors has also been up for a Shooter, now resting in bed in anticipation .......................for her morning cuppa !! “
8.13 Tina (W) "Its the only day I might get an eagle or hole in one. Bring it on!"
8 Liz B make sure you take water with you.
9 Delray I'm ready, just waiting for the hooter to start
9 Ash -A bit late for the shotgun start as I have been warming up in bed and lost track of time. I must Apologise to my playing partner Isobel and warn her that I have tennis elbow and may make my shots stray a bit but I will go through the pain barrier in order to win the event. May have a few whiskies during the round to ease the elbow pain.
Liz Morning girls, Geoff and I arrived just in time. I told him weather is due to change!
Chris V- All up and running .let's hope their are plenty of " Hole in One's " , If so why not set up a Fantasy Honours Board on our website
Mike T - Can't get the hang of these early starts. Overslept again! Am I too late? Someone sign me in please!
Deray - YES Chris Vander (no idea who he is) .. but brilliant partner ... we’re in the lead
Peter (B) - Simon sorry I am.late on the tee but my partner said are you on your marks and I was waiting for her by the till.
Kim H- Dear Editor, Re Derby County, Once again I find the need to write. In these troubled times do you not think it more appropriate to be flying her majesty’s flag at half mast?
On second thoughts.............
Steve A - well played partner , 2 birdies in the first 3 holes
Some good advice from Mary Anne - “Just as a reminder to all players, as the sun is shinning magnificently today, the Ladies Section have organised Pimms and Strawberry Cream Teas at the 10th Tee. Please join in but remember to keep your magnets charged!
Disclaimer: Ladies Section will not be held accountable for any subsequent wayward shots! “
Colin (B) - Still haven't seen Tuck Shop Stan to claim my Mars bar and banana. Knew I should have brought my wine gums with me. The balls going a bit further than last time we played. Barbara's just hit a 300 yard drive!
That damned nuisance Hansen (K) is back again
Dear Editor,
Having arisen late this morning I’m afraid I missed the joint captains drive off, many apologies - yesterday’s practise round was obviously too much for us both following our period of joint isolation. I have however noted with disappointment the use of magnets to observe distancing rules on the tee. Is this yet another example of over zealous government intervention to keep us poles apart?
Please let Jeanie know that I have belatedly joined the queue for the tee - currently standing by the Timber Yard half way down the Avenue - and will be with her shortly.
Tina (W)- Welcome back Bill, you’re looking very trim. Good luck today and take it easy.
Robert (B) - One down after 3 thanks to good 5 by our opposition on the 2nd after I put our 2nd into the pond after a great drive up the middle by my partner Chris, but early days!
Hansen (K) again! But sounding a bit less stressed with life............., Many thanks Ed, disappointed to report that we may be out of the wards but looks like we are already back in the woods!!!
Betty (V) 'Delrays skirt is more than 7inches above the knee does this mean she is disqualified'. (Eds note. Needs closer examination.)
Isobel (B) - I’ll get straight to it! Enjoy your one sausage each, Brett Essex Golf Club happy to chip in for the ketchup. Possibly we may have to review membership options for Paul and Viv. We are not a nudist club. Although, it could be a new angle?
If my playing partner doesn’t buck his ideas up his membership will also be under review!
From Hansen's Partner I believe - "From your partner.... stop messing about in your garden and concentrate on your golf...39 after 9.... not good enough!!!!!?????"
Robert (B) Bit late but, we are 3 up at the turn after a great birdie on the 9th Again my partner came up trumps, (Not Donald). Hit yet another great drive, must have been 250yds I managed to get on the front of the green and he got a great 25 footer! Opposition couldn’t do anything about that
Tina (W) Roll on the 19th, I’m taking this seriously and alcohol might affect my game. Four! Oops!
Pippa - Might find it helps!
Tina (W) - It cant get any worse, my games is rubbish today!
Ed. Familiar conversation??)
Lorna and Delray - Can you look for some of my balls I lost there last game we played
Karen (B) After 9 holes John Foreman and I are last! No time for lunch as I’m practicing 🏌️♀️or maybe a glass of wine would help.
Steve (A) My eyes aren't good enough to read the scores but it looks as though too many of my team had a second glass of wine at lunchtime and we may now be behind in the match , but either way it looks like a close finish. Keep up the good work , it looks ass though it could be a late finish.
Robert (B) - Looking around, the course is looking very patriotic with Red, White and Blue everywhere.
Still 3 up, the opposition have really upped their game. 12th was halved in birdies amazing, with my partner Chris getting another long putt and Jeanie following him from 15 feet
Lorna (C) just a heads up.... As it is such a beautiful day I don't want to waste a single moment, so I'm going for a swim in the lake. I'm not a very competent swimmer so I hope I make it back on time for the 10 th tee. I'll eat my sandwiches on the way round, but the wine may prove a little trickier. If white wine suits your delicate palate, you are most welcome to share.... I'm hoping it will improve my short game...... (Ed allegedly sent to Simon - too much wine around!)
Kim H - Dear Editor,
KH here (once again), it may have come to your attention that I am the recipient of some serious ‘golfer abuse’ for my supposed poor performance thus far today. My first thought is that Sir Simon may be the source of this slander and that my partner has nothing to do with it, however, I would just like to point out that despite having 14 clubs in the bag that I do not have any dice. May I respectfully suggest the actioning of a small but concerted diversion of Sir Simon’s attention when it comes to our next two turns. ( Ed. You have time - get a few bottles dropped off in neighbouring Shenfield!)
Mary Anne H. “My apologies to my playing partners for the very loud shrieks of delight at my hole in one! I can’t wait to get my hands on the Hugo Boss watch that should follow (Kim said to match his). I’m just checking my golf insurance policy for the cover I may have during Covid 19 for everyones drink at the 19th! If not, I can always write to Isabel and Keith. Could be a bit lumpy....... “
Kevin (P) Earlier today : Simon, have you contracted ‘casino elbow’ yet? (After Simon was upset about a Spurs Quip) Reply - We both have. Me computer and Jeanie dice ??
Ash earlier today on Robbos photo entry : 'Doesn't matter how much you have researched the pin positions Robbo, this is one competition we have a chance against you.🎲" Robbo "Ah but I have sent my special pair of school counting dice for Simon to use when it is my turn to play- they only have 1's on them!!!" (Ed Doesn't seem to eb working does it Robbo?)
Robert (B) Match has finished on the 15th, with Chris and I, mainly Chris, winning 4 and 3. Not sure where we are in the stroke play comp but w’ll keep trying
I thought Jeanie and Kim ( less said the better) were going to come back at us when Jeanie had a chip in eagle on 13!
Commiserations and thanks to our opponents for a very sporting game
I don’t know how Jeanie played so well with all the other things she has been involved in today
Simon I thought I saw a BBC Sport camera crew prowling around a bit earlier?
Roger (T) - If Handley & Walden prevail then no sour grapes , but it is possible that neither Wendy nor I will remember signing their card !!! Stewards’ enquiry ?
ED. We are close to a result now - hope you are all hanging in there. Miracles do happen. A long putt you don't deserve, a shot to green from no-where........
Ash - In the end my golfer/tennis elbow cost Isobel and I too many points, but we went round in 1 under and we beat our opponents to get us a point for the Captains team.
"Good game, good game" as Brucie would say. Well done to all the VF team on a great job today. It was great fun. Can you do it again tomorrow?
Colin B - must admit, eight and a half hours is quite a long round. It's been a bit embarrassing having to have a piggy back up the last, good job Barbara is a strong lass.
Tina - Wow, what a great day.
The sun has shone, the company has been great and the organisation fantastic.
Thank you so much to Simon, Jeanie, Gordon, Sue and Sarah who have put this game together and all the hard work involved.
Some great photos and comments throughout the day. It’s been great fun.
Thank you to my playing partner Dave and to Wendy and Roger who thankfully kept his belt firmly buckled.
I will fill up this wonderful virtual cup with only the best virtual champagne and drink a toast to all at Warley Golf Club and wish them and their families good health and a trouble free summer. See you all soon.
Thanks.
Tina 🥂⛳️ X
I might hit the Casinos ASAP.
Robert B -At last its over
I must say the champagne tent behind the 18th was a very welcome sight
Thanks to Simon, Gordon, Jeanie and Sarah for all your efforts for the fun day, all the other contributors and of course the green staff for their efforts in presenting the course in excellent condition
If my playing partner doesn’t buck his ideas up his membership will also be under review!
From Hansen's Partner I believe - "From your partner.... stop messing about in your garden and concentrate on your golf...39 after 9.... not good enough!!!!!?????"
Robert (B) Bit late but, we are 3 up at the turn after a great birdie on the 9th Again my partner came up trumps, (Not Donald). Hit yet another great drive, must have been 250yds I managed to get on the front of the green and he got a great 25 footer! Opposition couldn’t do anything about that
Tina (W) Roll on the 19th, I’m taking this seriously and alcohol might affect my game. Four! Oops!
Pippa - Might find it helps!
Tina (W) - It cant get any worse, my games is rubbish today!
Ed. Familiar conversation??)
Lorna and Delray - Can you look for some of my balls I lost there last game we played
Karen (B) After 9 holes John Foreman and I are last! No time for lunch as I’m practicing 🏌️♀️or maybe a glass of wine would help.
Steve (A) My eyes aren't good enough to read the scores but it looks as though too many of my team had a second glass of wine at lunchtime and we may now be behind in the match , but either way it looks like a close finish. Keep up the good work , it looks ass though it could be a late finish.
Robert (B) - Looking around, the course is looking very patriotic with Red, White and Blue everywhere.
Still 3 up, the opposition have really upped their game. 12th was halved in birdies amazing, with my partner Chris getting another long putt and Jeanie following him from 15 feet
Lorna (C) just a heads up.... As it is such a beautiful day I don't want to waste a single moment, so I'm going for a swim in the lake. I'm not a very competent swimmer so I hope I make it back on time for the 10 th tee. I'll eat my sandwiches on the way round, but the wine may prove a little trickier. If white wine suits your delicate palate, you are most welcome to share.... I'm hoping it will improve my short game...... (Ed allegedly sent to Simon - too much wine around!)
Kim H - Dear Editor,
KH here (once again), it may have come to your attention that I am the recipient of some serious ‘golfer abuse’ for my supposed poor performance thus far today. My first thought is that Sir Simon may be the source of this slander and that my partner has nothing to do with it, however, I would just like to point out that despite having 14 clubs in the bag that I do not have any dice. May I respectfully suggest the actioning of a small but concerted diversion of Sir Simon’s attention when it comes to our next two turns. ( Ed. You have time - get a few bottles dropped off in neighbouring Shenfield!)
Mary Anne H. “My apologies to my playing partners for the very loud shrieks of delight at my hole in one! I can’t wait to get my hands on the Hugo Boss watch that should follow (Kim said to match his). I’m just checking my golf insurance policy for the cover I may have during Covid 19 for everyones drink at the 19th! If not, I can always write to Isabel and Keith. Could be a bit lumpy....... “
Kevin (P) Earlier today : Simon, have you contracted ‘casino elbow’ yet? (After Simon was upset about a Spurs Quip) Reply - We both have. Me computer and Jeanie dice ??
Ash earlier today on Robbos photo entry : 'Doesn't matter how much you have researched the pin positions Robbo, this is one competition we have a chance against you.🎲" Robbo "Ah but I have sent my special pair of school counting dice for Simon to use when it is my turn to play- they only have 1's on them!!!" (Ed Doesn't seem to eb working does it Robbo?)
Robert (B) Match has finished on the 15th, with Chris and I, mainly Chris, winning 4 and 3. Not sure where we are in the stroke play comp but w’ll keep trying
I thought Jeanie and Kim ( less said the better) were going to come back at us when Jeanie had a chip in eagle on 13!
Commiserations and thanks to our opponents for a very sporting game
I don’t know how Jeanie played so well with all the other things she has been involved in today
Simon I thought I saw a BBC Sport camera crew prowling around a bit earlier?
Roger (T) - If Handley & Walden prevail then no sour grapes , but it is possible that neither Wendy nor I will remember signing their card !!! Stewards’ enquiry ?
ED. We are close to a result now - hope you are all hanging in there. Miracles do happen. A long putt you don't deserve, a shot to green from no-where........
Ash - In the end my golfer/tennis elbow cost Isobel and I too many points, but we went round in 1 under and we beat our opponents to get us a point for the Captains team.
"Good game, good game" as Brucie would say. Well done to all the VF team on a great job today. It was great fun. Can you do it again tomorrow?
Colin B - must admit, eight and a half hours is quite a long round. It's been a bit embarrassing having to have a piggy back up the last, good job Barbara is a strong lass.
Tina - Wow, what a great day.
The sun has shone, the company has been great and the organisation fantastic.
Thank you so much to Simon, Jeanie, Gordon, Sue and Sarah who have put this game together and all the hard work involved.
Some great photos and comments throughout the day. It’s been great fun.
Thank you to my playing partner Dave and to Wendy and Roger who thankfully kept his belt firmly buckled.
I will fill up this wonderful virtual cup with only the best virtual champagne and drink a toast to all at Warley Golf Club and wish them and their families good health and a trouble free summer. See you all soon.
Thanks.
Tina 🥂⛳️ X
I might hit the Casinos ASAP.
Robert B -At last its over
I must say the champagne tent behind the 18th was a very welcome sight
Thanks to Simon, Gordon, Jeanie and Sarah for all your efforts for the fun day, all the other contributors and of course the green staff for their efforts in presenting the course in excellent condition
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I’m warmed up and ready to go says Isobel. Just a few last minutes tips from the main man (Ed. Is that Graham Sharp? No, it really is the main man).
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Ready for the first tee says Bill (F), can you ask organizer with my vast fortune of virtual euros am I able to buy a mulligan for when mine or Sue’s swing fails?
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Jacky (S) says "Really hoping the bright pink ball will be easy for the ground staff to find"
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Betty (V) Ready to play but not sure who my captain is .....
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Monica (F) is a very way down the fairway already. George (F) is clearly a long way behind
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Roger and Jan - “Off at last - still not a golf ball in sight.”
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"I think we’re going to need a bigger flag!" Paul and Viv (S) (In case you can't recognise them with no clothes)
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Geoff I think is wearing salopets, is the weather due to change??
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Brenda (T) Last minute practice! (Some are so slow).
Lisa (C) I came out in such a rush I forgot my driver!!!! Oh well, I’ll have to improvise!!!! Just hope I can clear the lake!! It can double up as a parasol so may adopt this strategy for the future!!! You may see this out there on the professional circuit soon!! It certainly would lighten the load for the caddies!!!!!
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'Me' - says Simon Hall - Really!
John (C) Red, White and Blue but no rain - is it really April?
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Karen (B) has been dreaming again!
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Looking forward to this. I hear the first is a dogleg!
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Chris V- Chris decided to bring along his twin today - just as well they aren't in the same clothes!
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KaUp early and walked the course to ensure all pin positions are well known so beware Brian.Pay no attention to the 5G mast in the background as I am just off to cut the mast down!
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Karen (P) Can I introduce my partner in crime. He has no gnome to go to, so is staying in my garden
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Gilleys - Oh dear, we tee’d off and both ended up in the woods!
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Mike (T) Look where my ball ended up. I have patented a new club and called it a 'hedge wedge'. I will send a photo in a few seconds after this one. It works a lot better when power is available but even without it is better than my 'tree wood' as it allows the branches to be trimmed.
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Mike (T) After much practice on hedges and bushes I have decided that it would be a good addition to my bag.
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Chris(W) Just warming up this morning ready for the start. Brian of course does not bother with a warm up.
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Ready for the off!
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Sue and Dave (L) Says Dave is aka Red dwarf! he looks a little taller to me!
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Lorna (C) cited this as “her modest little contribution”. Ho ho.
Well - Lorna is obviously ready for the day when there will be some relaxation of the social isolation rules, but still wants to play COVID-19 free golf. Or maybe its just a bit of normal protection from her partner for the day - who is that , oh Sir Simon. Makes sense….. |
Tina (W) Here is my red, white and blue photo. Willow my Labrador photo bombing. ( and very lovely s(he) is!)
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The Hansen (K and MA) Story - Out of Isolation - In our Dreams
MA taking her first practise swing after nigh on 2 and a half weeks cooped up in bed.
Consequences of Kim’s first practise shot – a heavy ‘slice’ to Mary Anne’s head. This has left her concussed and not seeing clearly.
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Kim taking his first practise shot after 2 and a half weeks of 24/7 caring for MA
Kim taking up a different sport trying out his ‘hook’ this time
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Ash(P) - Nothing against Warley Park club owner and my partner Isobel or playing partners Maurice smith and Carol Mumford but better safe than sorry. Face mask, and safety goggles
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Hard luck Ash. Another one in the lake!
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Lucy (H) 'Thomas has the wrong club I think!'
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Dave (S) On the other hand "I’ve got the right club & ball for this game.' Happy golfing
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Chris (W) I needed to use my training aids as lagging behind a bit.
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Chris (W) Finally got Brian to warm up, but only with his beer glass.
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Maureen (P)This is the best I can get as a selfie 😱
So in the words of Julie Andrews in the sound of music ‘Is Bob really a dear’ (deer) 🙄 |
Angela (L) Lovely weather for a game of golf!
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Jan (T) “Only 4 holes, and he’s driving me crazy - I’ve ‘Ad E Nuf.” (Ed. They are still at it!)
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I know I’ve got my Xmas tutu on .... but it feels like Xmas, the sun is out and we’re playing in a golf 🏌🏾♀️ 🏌🏿♂️ 💚💚💚 (Ed. Got sun and countries mixed up I think!)
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Part 2 - the Second Nine
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We are off again - things are back in play in the Scorers Hut!
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I don't think he is still dosing and he has the acceptable fantasy page open
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Jean and John (E) have definitely decided on a stop at the Halfway House! Cheers!
Now George has certainly stopped at the half way house
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Peter on the other hand got up so late he is ready for lunch or as he puts it......'Decided to dress for lunch. Pickled herring on the menus. That will make sure Ruth observes the 2 Metre rule'.
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“Simon definitely said it was a pOtting competition after the first 9 !!”
Elegant? Your country needs you ? Mr Pastry . You decide?
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Wonderful team. Very British........the bulldog is has its teeth in his trousers
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Ash - Well done Maurice, drinks are on you so send me a bottle of malt as mine is nearly finished. My golfers/tennis elbow is now numb and Isobel has got me out of lots of trouble on the front 9, we are doing OK.
Susan (M) Just having a few swings to warm up for Virtual Cup today. It’s the first time I’ve held the driver in months. Hopefully I’ll get a good score for a change ⛳️
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"I think we are going to need a bigger flag"
Paul and Viv (Shooter) in case you don't recognise them with no clothes! |
Betty (V) Having a break as not having worn my summer shoes for months they are giving me terrible blisters!!!
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Delray - Golf???.... thought the email said SNOOKER!
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Peter(W) - Seniors Gigolo of the year for many years - His colourful attraction displays are now quite extreme! In the bushes, in the trees, (some of us will understand that) 'Found it' he says.....
Isobel - Is it time yet? (Ed. Yes Isobel we all be joining you soon - shall we bring our own glasses)
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John (C) Can’t believe that after all the golf we have missed I have produced probably my best swing (no comment!!).
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Chrissie (S)"Jimmie, Sorry I’m late I’ve got a puncher, I can’t find my shoes who am I playing with?"
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Delray - Competition getting tough!!...halftime stress reliever!
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Phillipa (S) - Terry, what do you mean we've still got 3 more holes to play before Lunch ? Surely no one will notice .......
(Ed They obviously stayed on for a while!) |
Suzanne (B) - A short break from this fun round with some light reading!
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Ash - When not in the trees his play is up there - a fine shot is made - a serious golfer admires his own work!
Tina (W) - Opponent retrieving ball from the water hazard.... “you are playing with a pink Callaway Roger ?
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Betty V - Getting across the lake shouldn't be too difficult!
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Lisa (C) - I knew the umbrella would come in handy!!!!
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Brian (W) Sometimes when those ahead are taking their time, one must just accept it and keep busy!
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The Gilley's still in the woods, but amazingly still smiling!
Betty V- I've found all my balls thankfully but I've lost my marbles; anyone seen them 🤪
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Jan and Roger managed to finish early somehow? Must have been on an early shift
Someone had a bad day today- but no ones owning up!!
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Delray has a very talented man around whose 2nd job is Course building - after a hard day at Warley today she relaxes on her private 9 hole course.
Gilley’s finished and all 4 of us at the 19th
Well done to all involved today. Fabulous
Well done to all involved today. Fabulous
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“ We Tee’d .... We Chipped .... We Putted” .... Birdies , Bogies, Eagles ... (never saw so many species of birds in one day!!) ... and the elusive hole-in-1 only managed by a few 👏🏽👏🏽 A truly wonderful day we’ve had and here’s to our magnificent LSVFC crew who have made it happen .... THANK YOU TO YOU ALL 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 🙌🏽 😘😘😘
Ed. We know who is going to lead our carnival at the WPGC re-opening don't we!
Ed. We know who is going to lead our carnival at the WPGC re-opening don't we!
Tina - After fabulous but exhausting day on the course.
Allan Appleby - He was at the very Start of our Day so its apt to give him the final word and bring us all back down to earth.
"Hi Gordon. Lyn thinks this form of golf is a must because she get to see me drink my coffee in the morning + all the jobs still get done. I’ve also realized it’s a great way to putt. You just sweep it into the hole. 😂"
"Hi Gordon. Lyn thinks this form of golf is a must because she get to see me drink my coffee in the morning + all the jobs still get done. I’ve also realized it’s a great way to putt. You just sweep it into the hole. 😂"
Message from Seniors Captain
Many thanks to Simon , Jeannie , Gordon and Sue for all the work they have put in in organising this innovative and fun day. Thank you also to all those who contributed , particularly with the photos. I didn't have a vote but would have picked the Shooters.
It is really unbelievable that the lowest handicapper and winner of lots of competitions wins the Virtual Fantasy competition as well , some people are just plain greedy.
Liz carried me over the line to beat Colin and Barbara by one shot and I am delighted that the Captains team was triumphant. If the season finishes now , I will be able to boast winning this to go with a 1st and 2nd out of the 3 competitions played , probably a better win percentage than even Robbo achieved!!
Hopefully see you on golf course soon , but may be longer for the over 70's.
Many thanks to Simon , Jeannie , Gordon and Sue for all the work they have put in in organising this innovative and fun day. Thank you also to all those who contributed , particularly with the photos. I didn't have a vote but would have picked the Shooters.
It is really unbelievable that the lowest handicapper and winner of lots of competitions wins the Virtual Fantasy competition as well , some people are just plain greedy.
Liz carried me over the line to beat Colin and Barbara by one shot and I am delighted that the Captains team was triumphant. If the season finishes now , I will be able to boast winning this to go with a 1st and 2nd out of the 3 competitions played , probably a better win percentage than even Robbo achieved!!
Hopefully see you on golf course soon , but may be longer for the over 70's.
Virtual Golf Report 2 After 3 Holes
Well we are all playing now – isn’t it nice to be back. The latest scores are below as well as the latest news from the course but first I forgot to advise you that I rented the VAR Super+ version from the premier league which means that not only does it capture all the actions but it can also lip read.
For example on the first tee (Lord) Steve Benton and (Lady) Ruth Benton were chatting – less than 2 metres but that’s allowed – and we saw Steve speak:Steve – who is your partner again?
Ruth – It’s Pete Burgess.
Steve - Oh crikey. You know that last flight we went on.
Ruth – yes
Steve – well I kept the ear plugs and they are in the car – do you want them?
Ruth – No thanks I got some
Steve – Got some but where from?
Ruth – I bought 2 dozen on internet shopping. It’s my standard order
Steve – Oh, why?
Ruth – Need you ask?
In the lead after 3 holes we have Chris Vander and Delray who stunningly eagled the first 2 holes. I couldn’t see the ball go in on the 1st as I inadvertently turned to my partner, forgot the magnets, and took a minute to separate but on the second Delray landed a magnificent second shot on the green and Goosey Vander sunk the putt. In the main field 4 players just missed a hole in ! by landing the ball within 3 feet of the pin (a double 1) but failing to throw another 1 to ensure the ball rolled in. They were Maureen, Lorraine Wilkinson, Wendy Leak, and Allan Appleby. Lorna and I managed a par even though Lorna nearly let her club slip as she has so much sun cream on her hand. It is early days yet as I am expecting a few double 6s around the lake.
One further piece of news is that the magnetic vests are not performing exactly as expected. Well that is not entirely true as they are helping with the social distancing, but they do seem to have given an advantage to those using graphite shafts who can swing clearly with no outside forces affecting them. On the other hand the iron shaft users – mainly the men - are finding that if they overswing the club attaches itself to their back and only releases with extreme force and can cause a shank and personal damage. Adapt guys adapt, and if it has happened to you please send a picture in.
I should also mention that Inspector Regan’s advert on email yesterday gave us to guest players namely Wayne Griffiths and Richard Bond who will play a singles against each other.
Final comment. If we do get a hole in one – statistically I am expecting one – there will be a further roll of the dice to see which of the two players got it.
For example on the first tee (Lord) Steve Benton and (Lady) Ruth Benton were chatting – less than 2 metres but that’s allowed – and we saw Steve speak:Steve – who is your partner again?
Ruth – It’s Pete Burgess.
Steve - Oh crikey. You know that last flight we went on.
Ruth – yes
Steve – well I kept the ear plugs and they are in the car – do you want them?
Ruth – No thanks I got some
Steve – Got some but where from?
Ruth – I bought 2 dozen on internet shopping. It’s my standard order
Steve – Oh, why?
Ruth – Need you ask?
In the lead after 3 holes we have Chris Vander and Delray who stunningly eagled the first 2 holes. I couldn’t see the ball go in on the 1st as I inadvertently turned to my partner, forgot the magnets, and took a minute to separate but on the second Delray landed a magnificent second shot on the green and Goosey Vander sunk the putt. In the main field 4 players just missed a hole in ! by landing the ball within 3 feet of the pin (a double 1) but failing to throw another 1 to ensure the ball rolled in. They were Maureen, Lorraine Wilkinson, Wendy Leak, and Allan Appleby. Lorna and I managed a par even though Lorna nearly let her club slip as she has so much sun cream on her hand. It is early days yet as I am expecting a few double 6s around the lake.
One further piece of news is that the magnetic vests are not performing exactly as expected. Well that is not entirely true as they are helping with the social distancing, but they do seem to have given an advantage to those using graphite shafts who can swing clearly with no outside forces affecting them. On the other hand the iron shaft users – mainly the men - are finding that if they overswing the club attaches itself to their back and only releases with extreme force and can cause a shank and personal damage. Adapt guys adapt, and if it has happened to you please send a picture in.
I should also mention that Inspector Regan’s advert on email yesterday gave us to guest players namely Wayne Griffiths and Richard Bond who will play a singles against each other.
Final comment. If we do get a hole in one – statistically I am expecting one – there will be a further roll of the dice to see which of the two players got it.
Virtual Golf Report 3 After 6 Holes
It has happened again. Sky are just showing the rerun on the 5th tee. It’s in the group where Roger Tallentire is playing with Wendy Leak against Dave Handley and Tina Waldon and it’s Roger. Many won’t know that since Roger had his new hip two years ago he has been on an aggressive fitness routine and lost over 2 stone but as yet has not changed much of his wardrobe so his clothes are quite loose fitting. You may know too that Jan and him have just returned from the holiday of a lifetime in South America just getting back before the pandemic. In Quito in Ecuador the officials did a full search and just as Roger raised his arms to be searched his shorts hit the deck. Pandemonium, but once they realized it wasn’t a gun he had hidden they all laughed and he proceeded on to the flight. That said you have probably seen on the news that a lot of passengers got stranded in South America as they immediately closed most of airports. Now today on the 5th tee a picture has come in of the very same thing happening. Sky have had to issue an apology – please all check your belts.
Now the competition and we have seen fantastic play on Locke’s Spinney with no less than 7 eagles whereas Delray and Goosey slipped up with a double bogey and have lost their lead and now lie 1 shot behind the Alan Brown / Pat Martin and the John Foreman / Karen Bailey pairings. So far it was worth Karen giving up those dream dates. On the other hand, John Foreman is gardening and hasn’t a clue he is leading as he is internet free. I have also had a quick look at photos submitted from the course. It is now 2 years since Bill French was detained in passport control when his passport was allowed to enter Portugal but he wasn’t with it. I am really pleased to see he is home but he must have been there for a while as the food must have been terrible and he is half the man he was (but better for it Bill – keep eating kale).
Next report will give us an idea who is up for a front 9 prize and who might win the big one.
PS Has Sharpie bought the golf course.
Next report will give us an idea who is up for a front 9 prize and who might win the big one.
PS Has Sharpie bought the golf course.
Virtual Report 4 After 9 Holes
We have got one – Hole in One on the 8th and its Maurice Smith – well done Maurice, I hope you keeping up with the scores. Carol Mumford is your partner today and she nearly got one herself – a great pairing. We also had close calls from Kim Sparks and Mike Trett – he must have improved since the earlier photos showing him in the bushes. Leader after 9 is Peter Hill and Donna Walker – on the men’s side it seems to be a day for the oldies. The captains were doing OK until O Steve went in the water on the 7th for a double bogey. Luckily Liz brought her swimming costume so Steve got his club back. In the match the Captains team is ahead 20-17.
I am playing today with Lorna Cooke and we have got Brenda Tyler and Ivan as company. We are enjoying the round and so far Lorna and I are winning.
However I was taking a closer look at Brenda’s bag which seemed very full so I wandered over a pulled out what I thought was a club and it was a pair of shears (I have a photo). I know we haven’t played for 3 weeks I said but did you think we would have to cut the grass. Didn’t you realise Dominic and his team have been working hard ready for our return. Of course I did said Brenda – I’m not stupid – (I know she isn’t). So what are they for I asked.. All the barbers have shut she said. Yes but what’s that got to do with it. Well I have to do Dennis’s hair was the answer and I use these otherwise he cannot see the ball. Has Jean Easthope got a pair then I asked. Of course not she said – she is using nail scissors.
I am playing today with Lorna Cooke and we have got Brenda Tyler and Ivan as company. We are enjoying the round and so far Lorna and I are winning.
However I was taking a closer look at Brenda’s bag which seemed very full so I wandered over a pulled out what I thought was a club and it was a pair of shears (I have a photo). I know we haven’t played for 3 weeks I said but did you think we would have to cut the grass. Didn’t you realise Dominic and his team have been working hard ready for our return. Of course I did said Brenda – I’m not stupid – (I know she isn’t). So what are they for I asked.. All the barbers have shut she said. Yes but what’s that got to do with it. Well I have to do Dennis’s hair was the answer and I use these otherwise he cannot see the ball. Has Jean Easthope got a pair then I asked. Of course not she said – she is using nail scissors.
Well done Mary Anne – cream teas by the 10th tee - lovely. I have also been advised that as a parting gift to members Stuart Orrin and Cliffords have kindly agreed to help by sponsoring lunch for everyone. Look out for the DHL van that should arrive shortly. You will all receive one free sausage. Please send in 50p if you want a squirt of ketchup.
Note from Isobel to Self. Remind Dominic to cut the long grass beside the 5th and take out half the wood on the 6th. Never met this chap Ash before and haven’t seen him much today either.
Note from Isobel to Self. Remind Dominic to cut the long grass beside the 5th and take out half the wood on the 6th. Never met this chap Ash before and haven’t seen him much today either.
Virtual Report 5 After 12 Holes
In Stop Press I have got some news that the Bet365 group (of which our captain is a member) may be of use. It is to bet on Derby County winning the championship next year (Shooters ears prick up). Never you are thinking but let me explain. Most of the championship clubs are running out of money and I predict all but one will go bust and the only one left will be Derby County. This is because Derby aren’t losing a penny as it transpires they pay their supporters to attend so they have put them all on furlough and the money continues to come in.
Things are hotting up with 6 holes to go with old stager Peter Hill and the much younger Donna Walker still leading but ominously David Handley and Tina Waldon are just behind – surely, we haven’t done all this for Dave to win again. Where is the grasshopper spray when you need it? Joe Hardy and Pat Dumbleton got the only eagle on the 11th which is supposed to be the easiest hole – guess a few have had a few with lunch – example – see Boy George (Fox) on the website.
Jeanie and I have just learnt that the top 4 pairs will be invited into the Masters which will now be in November. We caught the caption on sky earlier showing the 4 pairs we will replace. Lots to play for then.
Things are hotting up with 6 holes to go with old stager Peter Hill and the much younger Donna Walker still leading but ominously David Handley and Tina Waldon are just behind – surely, we haven’t done all this for Dave to win again. Where is the grasshopper spray when you need it? Joe Hardy and Pat Dumbleton got the only eagle on the 11th which is supposed to be the easiest hole – guess a few have had a few with lunch – example – see Boy George (Fox) on the website.
Jeanie and I have just learnt that the top 4 pairs will be invited into the Masters which will now be in November. We caught the caption on sky earlier showing the 4 pairs we will replace. Lots to play for then.
Earlier I was mentioning the Bet365 so you will probably know Brian Wilkins is a member. After Ash it is Brian who probably likes a deal better then anyone. It was therefore with great pleasure that, during the current shortage, he spotted a Groupon advert for toilet rolls where you got 12 rolls for £15. A bit steep maybe but at least he and Chris would have some. They have just arrived – see below – the only normal one they had left is included to demonstrate the quality (and size) of his order. Win some – lose some Brian.
Virtual Report 5 After 15 Holes
Bingo – We have our second hole in 1 and it was a special one as we threw four 1s in a row. Its Mary Anne Hansen who has not been well for nearly three weeks but who needs practice. Well done Mary Anne and we are really pleased you are on the mend. As Jeanie commented – perhaps my partner Kim will go and practice now. As predicted, it is the Handley/ Waldon combination that has hit the front with Skeels/Hayzer, Hill/Walker, and Hardy/ Dumbleton just behind with 3 holes to go.
Lorna and I are having a lovely round with Brenda and Ivan or at least Brenda. We are winning but that isn’t a surprise as we haven’t seen Ivan for a bit. Those of you on the Seniors WhatsApp who have been in daily contact with comments, quizzes, jokes, and videos picked especially by our Gigolo extraordinaire Peter Wines. Most of us are put to shame by Ivan who every day at about this time posts a map of the route he took today and lets us know how far it is. I think it has become a habit he can’t break as he left our group about 11.30am and we haven’t seen him since. I think he’s not as good at navigating as he thinks and is probably lost. It means poor Brenda has been on her own for several holes. This was yesterday route.
Lorna and I are having a lovely round with Brenda and Ivan or at least Brenda. We are winning but that isn’t a surprise as we haven’t seen Ivan for a bit. Those of you on the Seniors WhatsApp who have been in daily contact with comments, quizzes, jokes, and videos picked especially by our Gigolo extraordinaire Peter Wines. Most of us are put to shame by Ivan who every day at about this time posts a map of the route he took today and lets us know how far it is. I think it has become a habit he can’t break as he left our group about 11.30am and we haven’t seen him since. I think he’s not as good at navigating as he thinks and is probably lost. It means poor Brenda has been on her own for several holes. This was yesterday route.
Something else has occurred whilst writing this as, although we failed to buy the club, I still have a lot of ideas in my head and more have occurred as I write this. The latest one is to publish one of those calendars you get at Christmas to raise money using photos from today. We could donate revenues to the captain’s charity (or maybe a clothing charity) and perhaps all become famous – BBC local news level I mean. We would need to call it Christmas with the Shooters so I wonder if anyone else is willing to re-pose along the same lines.
PS. Just seen picture of Peter Wines – so that is how he does it
PPS. Everybody seems to be resting after lunch except Delray. No booze allowed in the scorer’s hut – make up for it later.
PPS Have you seen the Cormacks – touch of class
PPS. Everybody seems to be resting after lunch except Delray. No booze allowed in the scorer’s hut – make up for it later.
PPS Have you seen the Cormacks – touch of class
Virtual Golf Final Report After 18 Holes
Results
It’s done. Arm ache, neck ache, that thing called repetitive strain syndrome and not glass of wine – that’s both of us and – no doubt Gordon and Sue as well.
Winners and Well Done to All
Match Score Captains Team 21.
Vice Captains Team 16
1st David Handley and Tina Waldon 61
2nd Dave Skeels and Terri Hayzer 63
Best Front Nine Peter Hill and Donna Walker 28
Best Back Nine Keith Killington and Pat Cohen
Holes in 1 Maurice Smith and Mary Anne Hansen
We want to thank everyone who has joined in – we hope you enjoyed it.
Thanks too in particular to Jeanie, Gordon, Sue and Sarah for their help
And finally,……
Best (un)dressed man and woman was shared. Paul and Viv Shooter
There were so many fantastic photos but this one stood out.
It’s done. Arm ache, neck ache, that thing called repetitive strain syndrome and not glass of wine – that’s both of us and – no doubt Gordon and Sue as well.
Winners and Well Done to All
Match Score Captains Team 21.
Vice Captains Team 16
1st David Handley and Tina Waldon 61
2nd Dave Skeels and Terri Hayzer 63
Best Front Nine Peter Hill and Donna Walker 28
Best Back Nine Keith Killington and Pat Cohen
Holes in 1 Maurice Smith and Mary Anne Hansen
We want to thank everyone who has joined in – we hope you enjoyed it.
Thanks too in particular to Jeanie, Gordon, Sue and Sarah for their help
And finally,……
Best (un)dressed man and woman was shared. Paul and Viv Shooter
There were so many fantastic photos but this one stood out.
Virtual Golf Cup After 18 Holes : Teams
Virtual Golf Cup After 18 Holes : Inividual
