Seniors' Christmas Lunch and End of Year
Presentations 2024
Presentations 2024
What is that Kev is
wearing?
More will be revealed later.
It's not good!
The Main Event
A very small number played a quick round before the main event of the day.
The seniors had been advised to come with bank rolls of cash ready to unroll them to pay out for drive in boards, raffle tickets, Fantasy League Golf subscriptions and such things.
A good turn out with just under 60 older guys (some a bit older than others - that included the table with pillows for mid meal naps - I spotted a few!) ready to eat and drink the afternoon away.
Only two courses this year, but the general consensus seemed to be that the food was fine and certainly a big improvement on the previous year's offering, made all the more palatable by the large subsidy on the cost All served by the lovely warley ladies staff who, via Capt Kev, we presented with the generous 'Winesy' Christmas box.
The seniors had been advised to come with bank rolls of cash ready to unroll them to pay out for drive in boards, raffle tickets, Fantasy League Golf subscriptions and such things.
A good turn out with just under 60 older guys (some a bit older than others - that included the table with pillows for mid meal naps - I spotted a few!) ready to eat and drink the afternoon away.
Only two courses this year, but the general consensus seemed to be that the food was fine and certainly a big improvement on the previous year's offering, made all the more palatable by the large subsidy on the cost All served by the lovely warley ladies staff who, via Capt Kev, we presented with the generous 'Winesy' Christmas box.
After the meal Capt Kev gave us yet another rousing speech, drawing attention to the great successes we have had in 2023 (incl his own of course!), explaining that he had a wonderful year working hard to share all the work out fairly, in which he had been very successful, and making it clear that he never wanted to be asked to do anything again! Wasn't sure why he added the 'again'? But Kev was very generous, sending his supporters team away with a nice bottle each to help them forget what a busy year they have all had! Kev also reported that all the support for his Charity (ies) had raised the very impressive sum of £1100.
The quiz masters had been to town and during the meal we had the annual Roger Sports Quiz to tax our struggling brains and also Mel's cryptic quiz "Christmas Dingbats' to attempt. I think ( my attention had drifted!) the winners of both came from the same table - which included new Club Captain Steve. Not sure how they resolved the bun fight over who kept the bottle(s).
Then came the fun bits.
Matching Partners or 'Before they Were Famous'
Dave Skinner then offered us all the opportunity to play a game of matching pairs - I got quite excited with this as we often play that with our grandchildren and I'm pretty good.
Unfortunately, this was a slightly different form of the game and drew its inspiration from last years game of 'recognising seniors' from baby/child photos. I mentioned last year that Dave had clearly broken all the legal rules about data protection and this year it also included Safeguarding of children rules in obtaining some very suspect photos of young children ( boys and girls).
The task was to match the Seniors (boys) photos to those of their partners baby/child photos.
Now here was where it all went wrong for me. We realised that in order to solve the 2nd part of the Quiz ie match the lady partner, we had to work out (or recall) which boys photos we had in front of us. As I couldn't work out who I was or indeed if I was actually amongst the photos I couldn't really even be sure if Sue was included. This was clearly a more widely shared problem as Dave had to intervene and reveal the names of the seniors photos included to be matched up. It all got a little a little bit easier from then on, although I suspect it was largely a guessing game as the result scores were so depressingly low that Dave declined to give either prizes or a charity donation!!
Unfortunately, this was a slightly different form of the game and drew its inspiration from last years game of 'recognising seniors' from baby/child photos. I mentioned last year that Dave had clearly broken all the legal rules about data protection and this year it also included Safeguarding of children rules in obtaining some very suspect photos of young children ( boys and girls).
The task was to match the Seniors (boys) photos to those of their partners baby/child photos.
Now here was where it all went wrong for me. We realised that in order to solve the 2nd part of the Quiz ie match the lady partner, we had to work out (or recall) which boys photos we had in front of us. As I couldn't work out who I was or indeed if I was actually amongst the photos I couldn't really even be sure if Sue was included. This was clearly a more widely shared problem as Dave had to intervene and reveal the names of the seniors photos included to be matched up. It all got a little a little bit easier from then on, although I suspect it was largely a guessing game as the result scores were so depressingly low that Dave declined to give either prizes or a charity donation!!
2023 Fantasy Golf Roundup
As we know Steve (Belly) is now firmly the face (and other parts) of FL data and results tables and presented the outcomes for 2023.
Final League Results Overall
In 1st place was Steve Abbott with 241 points. You can see below that Steve A obviously used the transfers system very wisely.
In 2nd was Chris Vander with 238 points and in 3rd Joe Hardy
on 228 points.
They say that people choose some clothes to 'deflect' - what's going on with the Father Christmas legs on his head?
Final League Results Overall
In 1st place was Steve Abbott with 241 points. You can see below that Steve A obviously used the transfers system very wisely.
In 2nd was Chris Vander with 238 points and in 3rd Joe Hardy
on 228 points.
They say that people choose some clothes to 'deflect' - what's going on with the Father Christmas legs on his head?
Sir Simon then presented his annual review and awards for the of the Fantasy Golf year 2023.
There was a new buzz as Sir Simon came to the actual awards and titles - some departed to the loos, some to powder their nose, some to avoid humiliation!
I remind you that titles and awards can be freely used in public during the year and especially when completing online dating profiles - as Winesy knows of course.
I was going to edit down Simon's presentation, but on reflection I think you need it in the raw!
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
"Thank you Belly. Well done the winners and we helped Kev with his charity which I think means we helped get it over £1000. To those of you who haven’t been before the prizes – I can’t carry all the awards so you won’t get them today but you have to go and get them yourselves. They are available in the internet cloud.
But before that I thought Belly deserved something for his spreadsheet work doing the league. I also felt a bit sorry for him so I’ve got a voucher from HMV for a new record for him. I thought he would like a new one to play as he only has one and he plays that one so much it must be worn out by now (at least I’m hoping it will be soon).
I must start with our ex 2-years seniors, chairman, club vice-captain, and now club captain. He wins the prize for face lift of the year. You would think that now he has reached the peak of club captain he would retire next year with grace but I’ve just heard he plans to go on to greater things. I’m pleased to report he has now won a role in a major film. Tom Hanks is not available to Steve will be the lead of the remake of the film Castaway.
Tourist agent of the year is this year split into two categories.
The prize for Essex Tour Company and the international prize.
The Essex prize goes to Kim Hansen who kindly takes me to our away days, switches on his modern satnav and continually ignores it as he knows a quicker, more scenic route. I’ve been everywhere man as the record goes.
The European award goes to Spiggy who is commended on his golf course analysis. There are now just 10 courses in Europe he hasn’t played but his reporting is running a bit late as there are 10 more he hasn’t told us about yet. He’s been everywhere man.
Now the specially minted medal medal for meddling was awarded to Roger Tallentire several years ago. As he is going onto the Flexible Points system and giving up his role of meddling with our medals the committee have agreed to award him the meddling medal in perpetuity and retire the award. We still hope to see him next year as will return occasionally to play a medal.
Resilience of the year goes to Robbo who played with me several times whilst the matches took place. We were doing cards (not sure you’ve all heard about them). He was trying to raise his handicap whilst I was trying to lower mine. We both failed miserably, but missed the obvious answer of putting in a card in each other’s names.
Speaking of cards Tringo got caught out when he put in an England golf App card for his handicap and put an attester 200 miles away on holiday. I haven’t heard what excuse he gave England golf yet
Which brings us to Excuse of the year which this year is also split into 2 categories.
Firstly excuse for not turning up. Obviously, these include bad back, don’t feel well, no buggies no go Joe, car won’t start, taking the wife shopping, we are now babysitting. However, there is a clear winner in that is Mike Tringham who entered his name for a competition and just before it happened wrote. Sorry I can’t play - It’s my wedding anniversary. All done it Mike but don’t forget - you are captain next year.
The second excuse prize is given as a reason for not playing well. All the usual about greens, interfering geese, bad bounce, ball stuck in tree, but this one goes to Gordon who I played with at Top Meadow and in the middle of a poor round came up with – My underpants are too tight. He added Sue must have put them in the wrong drawer and I’ve got my son’s underpants. (the way he played that day it may have been his grandson’s).
The next is WhatsApp trader of the year. Several contenders here. For frequency its Roger and his smuggled wine although I often think it would be quicker if he just rang Mr Benton direct to ask how many cases do you want this week. Then there’s our captain again who advertised his old kitchen (although forgot to say you have to collect and dismantle it first – a neat money saver), but actually I’ve decided I win the award as I try to tempt people with a 3-bed house in France on a nice golf course. Thought Spiggy might buy it as he hasn’t played it yet.
I can also report that after 16 years playing with the seniors and about 10 years doing fantasy news a light has suddenly come on. In 2015 Winesey beat me in the singles final even though he kept telling me he had a bad back (and has done ever since). Now the fantasy news has awarded Pete the Gigolo of the year for each year and I’ve looked elsewhere for a suitable candidate but can’t really identify one. Meanwhile Pete is still complaining of a bad back. Until now I had never put two and two together. But now I have so he wins Gigolo of the year again. I now understand why he has a bad back. The only thing I don’t know is, having done his collection, where he is going on holiday and who is he taking this year.
Of course, Minder of the year only had one nomination and that goes to Skinner Latte. He was so good he was unopposed as Chairman so he will now mind all of us.
Unusual shot of the year goes to Ken (he actually got all the top 10 places) for hitting his ball into the ditch on the 10th. What’s unusual about that was asked. Answer He was playing the 11th at the time. He is also of course our Film Star of the year just beating Steve who has yet to perform, as he starred with Barbie in the multimillion best seller released this year. He is now, of course, our vice-captain so Fantasy News interviewed him asking about his new role. I didn’t expect to get a scoop but I did. So, I can reveal today his plans for 2025 include a change in match outfits. In keeping with his celebrity status he has chosen for us to wear all pink outfits. He knows this will only suit some of you but feels we should make a statement.
He is also is our fantasy player of the year and, as such, is the only one who gets a prize today. I hope it comes in handy. Here it is – Special Ball Spotting Glasses – try them on Ken. As is customary I told our King in advance, that is Henry Frederick Charles the fifth. He kindly donated back his prize from last year, as he thought Ken would need it if the ball was in the water. Here is the swimming cap. I must apologise to him again that his plaque for his dive into the 10th ditch hasn’t not yet been erected after a year. Apparently, it will be done at the same time as a drop zone on the 8th.
Here is your prize, Ken.
There was a new buzz as Sir Simon came to the actual awards and titles - some departed to the loos, some to powder their nose, some to avoid humiliation!
I remind you that titles and awards can be freely used in public during the year and especially when completing online dating profiles - as Winesy knows of course.
I was going to edit down Simon's presentation, but on reflection I think you need it in the raw!
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
"Thank you Belly. Well done the winners and we helped Kev with his charity which I think means we helped get it over £1000. To those of you who haven’t been before the prizes – I can’t carry all the awards so you won’t get them today but you have to go and get them yourselves. They are available in the internet cloud.
But before that I thought Belly deserved something for his spreadsheet work doing the league. I also felt a bit sorry for him so I’ve got a voucher from HMV for a new record for him. I thought he would like a new one to play as he only has one and he plays that one so much it must be worn out by now (at least I’m hoping it will be soon).
I must start with our ex 2-years seniors, chairman, club vice-captain, and now club captain. He wins the prize for face lift of the year. You would think that now he has reached the peak of club captain he would retire next year with grace but I’ve just heard he plans to go on to greater things. I’m pleased to report he has now won a role in a major film. Tom Hanks is not available to Steve will be the lead of the remake of the film Castaway.
Tourist agent of the year is this year split into two categories.
The prize for Essex Tour Company and the international prize.
The Essex prize goes to Kim Hansen who kindly takes me to our away days, switches on his modern satnav and continually ignores it as he knows a quicker, more scenic route. I’ve been everywhere man as the record goes.
The European award goes to Spiggy who is commended on his golf course analysis. There are now just 10 courses in Europe he hasn’t played but his reporting is running a bit late as there are 10 more he hasn’t told us about yet. He’s been everywhere man.
Now the specially minted medal medal for meddling was awarded to Roger Tallentire several years ago. As he is going onto the Flexible Points system and giving up his role of meddling with our medals the committee have agreed to award him the meddling medal in perpetuity and retire the award. We still hope to see him next year as will return occasionally to play a medal.
Resilience of the year goes to Robbo who played with me several times whilst the matches took place. We were doing cards (not sure you’ve all heard about them). He was trying to raise his handicap whilst I was trying to lower mine. We both failed miserably, but missed the obvious answer of putting in a card in each other’s names.
Speaking of cards Tringo got caught out when he put in an England golf App card for his handicap and put an attester 200 miles away on holiday. I haven’t heard what excuse he gave England golf yet
Which brings us to Excuse of the year which this year is also split into 2 categories.
Firstly excuse for not turning up. Obviously, these include bad back, don’t feel well, no buggies no go Joe, car won’t start, taking the wife shopping, we are now babysitting. However, there is a clear winner in that is Mike Tringham who entered his name for a competition and just before it happened wrote. Sorry I can’t play - It’s my wedding anniversary. All done it Mike but don’t forget - you are captain next year.
The second excuse prize is given as a reason for not playing well. All the usual about greens, interfering geese, bad bounce, ball stuck in tree, but this one goes to Gordon who I played with at Top Meadow and in the middle of a poor round came up with – My underpants are too tight. He added Sue must have put them in the wrong drawer and I’ve got my son’s underpants. (the way he played that day it may have been his grandson’s).
The next is WhatsApp trader of the year. Several contenders here. For frequency its Roger and his smuggled wine although I often think it would be quicker if he just rang Mr Benton direct to ask how many cases do you want this week. Then there’s our captain again who advertised his old kitchen (although forgot to say you have to collect and dismantle it first – a neat money saver), but actually I’ve decided I win the award as I try to tempt people with a 3-bed house in France on a nice golf course. Thought Spiggy might buy it as he hasn’t played it yet.
I can also report that after 16 years playing with the seniors and about 10 years doing fantasy news a light has suddenly come on. In 2015 Winesey beat me in the singles final even though he kept telling me he had a bad back (and has done ever since). Now the fantasy news has awarded Pete the Gigolo of the year for each year and I’ve looked elsewhere for a suitable candidate but can’t really identify one. Meanwhile Pete is still complaining of a bad back. Until now I had never put two and two together. But now I have so he wins Gigolo of the year again. I now understand why he has a bad back. The only thing I don’t know is, having done his collection, where he is going on holiday and who is he taking this year.
Of course, Minder of the year only had one nomination and that goes to Skinner Latte. He was so good he was unopposed as Chairman so he will now mind all of us.
Unusual shot of the year goes to Ken (he actually got all the top 10 places) for hitting his ball into the ditch on the 10th. What’s unusual about that was asked. Answer He was playing the 11th at the time. He is also of course our Film Star of the year just beating Steve who has yet to perform, as he starred with Barbie in the multimillion best seller released this year. He is now, of course, our vice-captain so Fantasy News interviewed him asking about his new role. I didn’t expect to get a scoop but I did. So, I can reveal today his plans for 2025 include a change in match outfits. In keeping with his celebrity status he has chosen for us to wear all pink outfits. He knows this will only suit some of you but feels we should make a statement.
He is also is our fantasy player of the year and, as such, is the only one who gets a prize today. I hope it comes in handy. Here it is – Special Ball Spotting Glasses – try them on Ken. As is customary I told our King in advance, that is Henry Frederick Charles the fifth. He kindly donated back his prize from last year, as he thought Ken would need it if the ball was in the water. Here is the swimming cap. I must apologise to him again that his plaque for his dive into the 10th ditch hasn’t not yet been erected after a year. Apparently, it will be done at the same time as a drop zone on the 8th.
Here is your prize, Ken.
A reminder that the FLG will run again in 2024. Usual fees etc. Debt collector Belly will be visiting you if you are not yet invested.
Thanks for the amusement Simon.
Thanks for the amusement Simon.
Special Awards
I don't think there was a best Christmas dress/jumper prize this year? I may have missed it - you can tell me if I did.
Vice Capt Mike Tringham was delegated by Kev to decide the Bandit of the Year for 2023. Mike shared that he had carried out a through data review, including deep diving into the data for the swindle. He even quoted a few statistics to convince us of his serious intent. It was certainly a year in which 3/4 players could have been selected with some justification, but Magic Mike's approach lead him to a clear victor. First though he had to get the outgoing 2022 B of the Y - John P - model the gear! John claimed that he was unable to wear the hat in comps as it was too big for his head. No problem there for this years winner, so we'll expect to see it in evidence out on the course!
And Mike's decision was.................Richard Fisher - the 16 game winner of the Swindler of the Year title.
NB Its amazing that RF managed to do so well as he seems a bit confused (sweater) by the game he was playing - cricket or golf?
Well done Richard.
And Mike's decision was.................Richard Fisher - the 16 game winner of the Swindler of the Year title.
NB Its amazing that RF managed to do so well as he seems a bit confused (sweater) by the game he was playing - cricket or golf?
Well done Richard.
And the very special Clubman of the Year trophy was awarded to Ash. Aside from having carried out the Treasurers role for several years now and 'trying' to spend our money and get the reserve down, he has developed, what started as a spin off from the Swindle as an occasional game away, a very polished and very well supported Ash Away day programme. On top of that he just helps out when required. A very valued member of the Seniors team and well deserved.
And Kev wanted to present a special 'one off' award for the player who had managed to accrue the largest deficit in the Swindle in 2023- Step forward Winesy.
End of Year Competition Winners Presentations (Part 2)
The Winners for all the 2nd half of the year competitions were presented by Capt Kev.
There are photos below of those present (in a slideshow), but our Golfer of the Year 2023 should have a special mention. Ash had to fight off a strong challenge by Ken our Vice Capt for 2024. (how did Ken escape being Bandit of the Year!!). An excellent year of golf Ash and well deserved.
There are photos below of those present (in a slideshow), but our Golfer of the Year 2023 should have a special mention. Ash had to fight off a strong challenge by Ken our Vice Capt for 2024. (how did Ken escape being Bandit of the Year!!). An excellent year of golf Ash and well deserved.
Our Thanks to Captain Kev
Kev promised us a fun year and it certainly has been year with much more emphasis on fun and participation, than rules and competition. Kev's good humour and colourful language has certainly enriched us all! As a thank you, our new Chairman - Dave Skinner presented Kev with a photo memento of his year as Captain.