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 Fantasy League 2018 - Newsletter 10

Welcome to Stansted. Great news sir; your Ryanair flight has not been cancelled; where are you travelling to? Lisbon in Portugal. Can I see your passport please? Thank you, all is in order Mr French. Please can I check your hand luggage? I am sorry sir, but your bag exceeds our limit of 4ins x 3ins x 2ins so we will have to put it in the hold. Oh! ......3 hours later. Welcome to Lisbon, please form an orderly queue at passport control. Passport? Sorry but I don’t have it. You cannot enter without a passport sir. I thought you had freedom of movement here. Not for everyone sir – we just say that to Mr Juncker so we get the money. My passport is in my bag. And where is your bag sir. In luggage reclaim through there (aside – we have got another one Rodrigo). Purpose of visit? I’ve come to a stag party. Bit old for that aren’t you sir; is it yours. No my son’s. Is this your friend sir? Yes. Has he got his passport? Yes. Will he recognise your bag? Yes. You wait there and I will get an officer to go with him to get your bag and if all is in order you can enter. Thank you sir....... right here we are – French you said. Yes. The photo doesn’t look like you sir and it says you are British. I am afraid you will need to come and answer some more questions. Epilogue. You may not have seen Bill for a while but he has been released and played in the Twilight Cup recently. 
The Twilight Cup showed what the seniors can do as fifteen players finished under par. None could beat Mike Trett though who is back from a bad back and won with 65 net beating Sharpie Pencils into second place. Well played all, including Menace Dennis who was 14th and got cut. In the Summer Stableford the glory went to Fairbanks Garvey who got a stunning 44 points to win, beating returning to form Vivienne Patel into second place. Well played chaps.
The Twilight cup signalled the unveiling of Bob Doe’s new ultra violet umbrella which helps you keep a cool head. Bob has also ordered an infra red sauna from America which apparently can help relieve arthritis and other ailments. Nurse Doe is a kind man so after hearing Dolly Appleby had not been well he lent it to him for a test run. Allan’s testimonial is below. 
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​Testimonial: I used the infra red sauna for 28 days and look what it did for me. Contact Nurse Doe so you too can benefit.
 Dolly Appleby Aug 2018

PS: On hearing the umbrella helps you keep a cool head O Steve has asked if he can borrow it. 

In the Fantasy League it is all change at the top as Tony Dun not so good has been caught by the Headmaster whilst Bon Bon Burnham leads in the interim prize section.

Footnote 1: - we are not alone; the match at Boyce Hill saw one player come to lunch in socks and another in a nice pair of rather large black shoes. Their captain inspected his team and ruled that the man in socks was Cinderella and restored his shoes to him. 
​

Footnote 2: - we are not alone; I had two letters to my home last week. The first said they will be resurfacing the road for 20 days from September 3rd and the second said the gas company will be digging up the road to lay new pipes for 6 weeks from August 28th. I think I will go to France for a bit.
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NB Past 2018 Newsletters can be viewed under the Archive button.
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