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 Fantasy League Golf 2019 - Newsletter 3 
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More results and more stories as the season progresses but firstly congratulations to (relative) new boy Jiminy Handley who landed part 1 of the Four Seasons cup beating a returning reinvigorated James Smyth. I played with Dave and think he has potential, but I suspect there is a bigger play in the background as there he was in the first shorts of the season and above the knee - chirp chirp. Looks to me like a strategy to be king grasshopper. 

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Meanwhile Flash has been asking my advice about house building works as mine have just finished and his have just started. You may have noticed he wasn’t there one Friday when it transpired the works involved removing the staircase and he had been left stranded upstairs. Having escaped he reappeared three days later looking a little slimmer (no cake) and with dirty shoes as Sue was still waiting to come down. 

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In the rearranged Bogey competition Willy Gilley returned from his altitude training in the Far East to storm home pushing Trigger Crutchett into second place in what was a tough competition as only five players beat handicap. I felt sorry for the Wedding Singer Dave Cormack whose -18 would have    been good enough to win virtually
​                                  any USPGA golf tournament.
​                                  Well played Will and Trigg.



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At this point I should mention the Dinner Dance which was excellently organised by our Club Captain Mr Cheese on Toast. In fact the menu and company were excellent and JT (Mrs RT) excelled herself with an excellent speech on behalf of the ladies. That wasn’t the end of the drama however as at midnight Cinderella Shooter and his lovely wife were waiting for their taxi to turn up and waiting and waiting until a distress phone call was put into 20 20 20 asking where they were. But we picked you up 20 minutes ago was the answer and you are on the way to Shenfield. Well I am not so can you just a ring the cab and ask them to come back please and anyway who is in it. Pause Pause – their name is Tallentire and they live in Upminster but hadn’t noticed the route I was taking.

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It is still the early stages in the Fantasy league but Robot Robson is still leading with Orson Wells just behind whilst the performance of Mr Gilley has got me into third place. However form and injuries mean the transfers have already started.

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I now extend an Invitation to all regular swindlers to turn up on May 3rd for the Editors Sponsored Fantasy Swindle – a day that just happens to see my escape from my sixties to start my seventies. There will be the offer of a free drink and cake for attendees and in addition to the normal swindle off current swindle handicaps there will be a fantasy team game. Please arrive well before 7.45am as you need to pick your team of 3 (not yourself) from other attendees and of course discuss tactics with them and give them their energy drink

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Footnote. In an uncorroborated report Dennis O’Neill lost his mobile phone. A fellow senior discovered this and sent Dennis a text to say how sorry he was – think about it and who was it.  

NB Late exclusive, following the release of further Wikileaks material, I  have managed to obtain a copy of the actual text 
exchange ....

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NB Past 2018 Newsletters can be viewed under the Archive button.
'...our ethos of fun, social golf with a healthy element of competition'