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Senior Captain's Golf Break 2019
​ Dale Hill Hotel and Golf Club
Thursday 3rd October to Friday 4th October​ 


Arrival and Teams

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With some trepidation the Captain, with travelling companions Chris and Ash, set off from Shenfield to join a further 20 senior citizens from the Senior Section for what was hoped to be two days of fine golf intermingled with lively banter, great food and the odd drink or two at Dale Hill Golf and Country Club, Ticehurst Surrey. Why the trepidation? Well earlier in the year, one of the courses we were to play, the Woosnam course, had literally been destroyed by Leatherjackets, no not the Hells Angels type but the nymphs of what is commonly known as Daddy Longlegs or Crane Fly.

​On arrival at the Club it was pleasing to note that the fairways and tee boxes had recovered remarkably well since Captain Kim’s and Chris’s joint scouting visit in September.
Two of our original Tour members, Peter Wines and Simon Hughes, could not, unfortunately make the journey. Peter was a very late pull out due to his sister having a very nasty accident. Latest news is that she is through the worst of it and our best wishes go out to Peters’ sister, Peter and the family. 

Our esteemed Fantasy Editor, Simon, had caught a slight chill and was not allowed out to play, being confined to his bed to write his next newsletter under the influence of a bottle of Glenfiddich and numerous chocolate bars and cakes. It’s fair to say that both absences were missed. An able deputy [on paper at least] for Simon came in the form of Denis O’Neil. [more later]. 

21 of the final squad of 23 arrived by the agreed time of 10.30 am. Apologies for lateness had been received, reasons for lateness had been withheld, probably wisely. The World Cup style draw was performed, with Robbo’s 2018 pingpong balls being drawn out of brightly coloured Orange Halloween Sweet Buckets to ensure each team had a fair mix of handicaps.  Special scoring rules were to be applied to the Team pulling 'Absent Winsey' as all four scores were to count for overall Team Points. The Absent Winsey Team would also have the benefit of going out first.
Murmuring was heard around the room as the team of Han‘Sen, The Menace, Flash and Gunga, was pulled and immediately installed as the Bookies favourites. Oh, how wrong people can be!!! 

The Off!

Will, James and Bill [The ‘Winsey’ Team -Team 5] led the group off at 12.30am faced with the 580 yard par 5 opening hole on the Woosnam course.  Two sixes and an eight gave their team a 4 point start, it was to get better. On the other hand the Bookies favourites started with a team total of three, but things were looking up when four 3 pointers on the par 4, 4th gave them 12 points, a possible sign of good things to come………… it wasn’t to be. Denis, with a net 64 and the Seniors' Championship in his pocket only 3 days earlier, did a PB [that’s a Pete Burgess – not a personal best] and ended the day a sad man, very closely followed by the captain!  Flash and Gunga were none too pleased either.
Despite the poor start the Captain looked good !

Room Hunt

Several had registered into the hotel early and simply collected their keys on their return from golf. One such tourist was Dennis who had collected ‘his’ key under our Group name. The Captain tried to obtain the key to his room 10 minutes later only to find that it had already been collected. No guesses at who had taken it!

Evening All! 

On to the evening, with everyone smartly dressed and the table plan clearly marked and easily readable – except that is to the Headmaster. On taking ‘a’ seat he declared ‘they’ve got my menu wrong’. On swift inspection, no, ‘they’ hadn’t got anything wrong you are sitting in 'Mike' Smith’s seat!! A quick change of menu cards allowed the Headmaster to stay put lest he might get lost again changing tables.

​Much merriment was enjoyed during dinner with good food and good service the order of the day. Two bottles of good red turned into three as Colin realised he had some money over, complicated by Doug who had forgotten that he had paid his share and was insisting on paying again.
The restaurant emptied which allowed the prize giving to take place where we were. Overall Team prize went to the ‘Absent Winsey’ Team, [You are owed a bottle of wine Peter] and individual winner with a fabulous score of 39 went to Bill. A long way back on 32 points came Doug in second place, on count back, from Spiggy in third.  Full results are as below.

A bit like the evening - some random photos!

Captain's Sword Delivers the Cuts!

Next came the handicap adjustments for the following day with noise and heckling levels rising. Despite handicap cuts and additions being applied as per the tour rules, some of the gathered assembly seemed to take issue. Kevin Price [KP] got particularly salty and was rewarded with an extra roasting by the Captain for his on-going verbal. Despite many of his fellow tourists offering well founded advice he ended the evening on a handicap of 12 [having been fined a 4 shot cut]. As the saying goes….. “Glasshopper you have much to rearn”.

Dave Cormack and Denis O’Neil were fined 1 shot each for snitching and Doug took a 3 shot cut simply by being Doug. Several appeals were submitted overnight, the only successful one being a reduction of 2 to KP’s fine [on compassionate grounds] due to his teammate, Bill, also receiving a 5 shot cut [official] for being brilliant on the Thursday.

​Tourists then retired to the Bar to lick their wounds, have a couple more beers and shoot a few games of pool. Once more Dennis came to the fore with another PB. Having won a number of games in style he finished the evening by foul potting the black, an omen to the golf for the following day.

​All Quiet on the Breakfast Front

Breakfast was a slightly quieter affair, with one or two sore heads in plain view and the news that there were to be no Buggies on the Old Course! The draw for Fridays’ golf had been set the day before, teams were to remain the same, but all were to go out in different 4 balls. All that had to be agreed was the order of play and how many holes our unfortunate ‘Buggymen’ were going to try and walk before returning to the Clubhouse.

​On arrival at the tee we were pleased to find that our whole group could go off early. Luckily all groups were on the tee in time so as not to have to make any changes to the 4 balls…………barring one. You guessed it! KP, No fine, not his fault.

The 2nd Day Mixed Up Teams

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Despite a few showers the mornings golf was enjoyed by most and the scoring for the round was much better overall.

And to the results. A better day for last year’s Captain, who didn’t like the Woosnam on the Friday [I thought that was the Big Boys course?]. He came in with a great score of 41, with Flash second on 39 and Spiggy again 3
rd, this time on 38 points.

The Team prize for Friday, as well as the overall, went to Team 1, comprising Colin, Wilko, Doug and Dave. 

Individual prize overall went to Robbo, on countback on 70 pts, with Spiggy in second place and Colin on 69 pts, a very close third.
​

Smartest Hat and Golf Attire went respectively to Ash and Wilko.

Final Day and Prize Giving 

Apologies to all for the delay in the final prize giving, the Captain having put himself out in the last 4 ball – not a good move. Note for next year Steve!

Captain's thanks

Many thanks to my minder Chris for all the help and advice he has given me before and during the Tour.

And especial thanks to you all for joining me at Dale Hill [or as Doug called it Dale Farm]. I do hope you had an enjoyable time.  

Kim
Ed's Note:  I'm sure all of us that took part in the Dale Hill Trip would wish to express our thanks to Mrs Hansen for the hard work and organisation that went into this event! We were so pleased that Kim had a guiding hand!! Seriously, thanks to Kim from all of us for a really enjoyable couple of days. 

Results Table 

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'...our ethos of fun, social golf with a healthy element of competition'