Seniors Fantasy Golf News 2023 : No 3
It’s report time again as our ace calculator has got his slide rule out to see how things are progressing. They say computers and calculators are getting smaller, but I’m pleased to say our calculator isn’t flying in the face of the current trends, when greens, fairways, and sandwiches are; to name but three.
It’s also bonus time, which those of you who weren’t bankers will find a new experience. You can also now do transfers freely without penalty, which is a good idea for those who have Kim Han Sen, Dave Corma, or Captain Sandpit, as the first two are about to be rebuilt with new hips, and the other is on strike in Bermuda for six weeks. Since our vice-captain followed Roger Flat Tyre’s lead by trying to sell his kitchen on our private WhatsApp, I’m expecting two bones to be offered soon. If you have a dog, please watch this space.
Results have all been reported so I won’t repeat them all, other than to say well done to the winners, who included Dave Oak Tree in the Bogey, General Paton in the Spring Bonus Cup, who obviously bought his compass that day, and Kevin Ben More who was Kevin Ben Less In the old Codgers Meal (sorry Gordon) as he won by 8 shots (could be worth a £1 to replace our boneless couple).
For myself, I have managed to wade round a few times securing my place as a Warley Park record holder - more shots per hour than any previous player. I also drove the green on the 9th. It was a shame it was the 8th green. Amongst my games I’ve played with Frank Skinner’s brother, who proceeded to get a nose bleed so he looked like a 'Fish called Wanda' for half the round, and at Top Meadow I played with Andy Pandy, who pipped me for second place. He's the latest Sargent to grace our group. Evening all.
I think we have embraced the new regime of relaxed dress code and I show two examples of our efforts. In the one below the person wished to remain anonymous, in case he was charged for taking something off the course home on his shoes. There is a prize of one old golf ball for guessing who it is.
It’s also bonus time, which those of you who weren’t bankers will find a new experience. You can also now do transfers freely without penalty, which is a good idea for those who have Kim Han Sen, Dave Corma, or Captain Sandpit, as the first two are about to be rebuilt with new hips, and the other is on strike in Bermuda for six weeks. Since our vice-captain followed Roger Flat Tyre’s lead by trying to sell his kitchen on our private WhatsApp, I’m expecting two bones to be offered soon. If you have a dog, please watch this space.
Results have all been reported so I won’t repeat them all, other than to say well done to the winners, who included Dave Oak Tree in the Bogey, General Paton in the Spring Bonus Cup, who obviously bought his compass that day, and Kevin Ben More who was Kevin Ben Less In the old Codgers Meal (sorry Gordon) as he won by 8 shots (could be worth a £1 to replace our boneless couple).
For myself, I have managed to wade round a few times securing my place as a Warley Park record holder - more shots per hour than any previous player. I also drove the green on the 9th. It was a shame it was the 8th green. Amongst my games I’ve played with Frank Skinner’s brother, who proceeded to get a nose bleed so he looked like a 'Fish called Wanda' for half the round, and at Top Meadow I played with Andy Pandy, who pipped me for second place. He's the latest Sargent to grace our group. Evening all.
I think we have embraced the new regime of relaxed dress code and I show two examples of our efforts. In the one below the person wished to remain anonymous, in case he was charged for taking something off the course home on his shoes. There is a prize of one old golf ball for guessing who it is.
The other picture below was taken on a day when I played cribbage with the first Sarge and he bought along the biggest crib board I had ever seen. It was moulded wood from a rare tree (I think), but could have been his re-purposed truncheon. I think he is proposing the new outfit as a future team kit.
Have you noticed how often our committee meets. What do they discuss. Rumour has it we will soon have to announce our preferred pronoun, although I think a few have already got one given; they may of course have been given by somebody else. Anyway, in the fantasy league table Bandit Cozy Powell is proving his status also spreads to management, as he is in the lead, followed by Hardy, Joe and Ted (with a team I picked - another mistake – I should have kept it for myself).
ADVERT. Robbo is working hard on his MND charity day. If you can’t come, please donate.
STOP PRESS 1. Just found out what the committee do with our money. They have bought alarm clocks which have all been set for Thursday 4.45pm, when they will ring and issue a voice message. It will say ‘answer Gordon now, not next week’. So far, they have issued 6 clocks.
STOP PRESS 2. In a radical decision it has been announced that the pin position for 2023 will no long be B. It will now be various. Happy golfing.
Simon
PS. Goodbye Keith. Hard act to follow.
Any question on the table to Steve Bell please stevebellybell@icloud.com