Fantasy League 2018 - Newsletter 11 : Direct from our European Tour Manager

There are lots of results to report but first things first. They have been digging up my road since February to put in a new gas main and now they are digging up my drive because my pipe is too small (the cheek of it) so I have no gas and I’m fed up and I’m fed up with all this grasshopper infiltration so I am in France where my french club is hosting the latest round of the Challenge Tour.

​And now, can you believe it, it is sponsored by Hopps whoever they are and all the players are cicadas.

It is therefore time to congratulate Kevin Price on becoming Seniors Golfer of the Year and advise him that he will receive an exemption in next year’s Hopps tournament and, because the french allow dogs on the course Wellard can come too. I actually negotiated two exemptions so hard luck and well done to second placed GOY entrant Gordon. They need someone Flash to lighten up the tournament and I have got Gordon a lady caddy (and dog) to help him.

Well done to Yo-Yo O’Neill who won the Autumn cup and who went back to the handicap he started the week at and big congratulations to Willy Gilley and Hairy Clarey who landed the two main prizes in the Seniors Championship.

This newsletter also has the points earned for the knockouts where I will mention Bon Bon Burnham first who was unfortunately a nearly man in both competitions. The winners were Sunny Siv Rainford in the singles and soon to return ‘I’m so bored at home’ Robot Robson who partnered Douglas ‘whose nicked my trolley’ Garvey in the doubles.

It is also interim prize time and you are all being outdone by Bet 365 as DunsDone (£15) is number 1 and AB Bott (£10) is number 2 with Tilly Ett 3rd (£5). Since I was last in France both my daughters had their holiday here and my Boots economy shampoo has disappeared to be replaced with Pear and Coconut for dry hair and Apple and Mango to give my hair body. I’ve tried them and I definitely smell better and what is more it is part of my 5 a day fruit diet of which the remainder is crushed grapes.

PS. The French are now gearing up for the Ryder cup and have launched a new range of tees and clubs with style. I am the appointed agent and can take orders in the English masters. See below
Footnote. Judge Les has your trolley Doug – pay attention

NB Past 2018 Newsletters can be viewed under the Archive button.